Who knew changing my name by one letter would be so damn hard?!? Damn you, Osama!
My court appearance was scheduled for Dec. 1st at 11am. I showed up at 10am, because I had no idea what the court appearance would actually entail. Would I have to stand before the judge? Would I have to state the reasons why? Do I have to run an obstacle course “Double Dare”-style in order for my request to be processed? I have no idea.
I went to the courtroom at sat down in the last row. Figuring I had an hour to kill, I took out my laptop and started rocking some “Mario Golf”. About 20 minutes later, the bailiff walked up to me and we had this enlightening conversation:
Bailiff: Are you here for a name change?
Me: Yes.
Bailiff: Your name, please?
Me: Davis
Bailiff: Let’s see… (Pulls out a small pad)… Davis… Davis... Garcia?
Me: That’s the name is my mom mistakenly gave me, sir.
Bailiff: Ok, Thank you.
That was it. Thinking nothing of it, I went back to destroying the Mushroom Course with my deadly assortment of chips, putts, and bludgeoning drives. Once 11am hit, I looked up, and saw the judge just sitting at the bench, head down. Figuring she was setting herself up for the proceedings, I started to power down the laptop (-16, baby!!! I had a short game that would have made Mario cry, and Princess Peach asking me back to her room so I can show her my 9 wood), when the bailiff stood up and proclaimed…
“The judge has approved all name requests. Please go downstairs to the first floor to receive your conditional court papers and instructions”
That was it. I flew up to NY, just for this. I could have had a homeless guy say his name was Davis Garcia, pay him 4 bucks and a carton of Virginia Slims, and it would have turned out the same! Sure, I could have been caught and arrested for fraud... but this way I would have saved a bunch of money, and the homeless guy (in my mind, his name is Stinky Pete) would sell his smokes for meth...
It would have been a win-win.
Except for the prison part... I am way too pretty for jail.
My court appearance was scheduled for Dec. 1st at 11am. I showed up at 10am, because I had no idea what the court appearance would actually entail. Would I have to stand before the judge? Would I have to state the reasons why? Do I have to run an obstacle course “Double Dare”-style in order for my request to be processed? I have no idea.
I went to the courtroom at sat down in the last row. Figuring I had an hour to kill, I took out my laptop and started rocking some “Mario Golf”. About 20 minutes later, the bailiff walked up to me and we had this enlightening conversation:
Bailiff: Are you here for a name change?
Me: Yes.
Bailiff: Your name, please?
Me: Davis
Bailiff: Let’s see… (Pulls out a small pad)… Davis… Davis... Garcia?
Me: That’s the name is my mom mistakenly gave me, sir.
Bailiff: Ok, Thank you.
That was it. Thinking nothing of it, I went back to destroying the Mushroom Course with my deadly assortment of chips, putts, and bludgeoning drives. Once 11am hit, I looked up, and saw the judge just sitting at the bench, head down. Figuring she was setting herself up for the proceedings, I started to power down the laptop (-16, baby!!! I had a short game that would have made Mario cry, and Princess Peach asking me back to her room so I can show her my 9 wood), when the bailiff stood up and proclaimed…
“The judge has approved all name requests. Please go downstairs to the first floor to receive your conditional court papers and instructions”
That was it. I flew up to NY, just for this. I could have had a homeless guy say his name was Davis Garcia, pay him 4 bucks and a carton of Virginia Slims, and it would have turned out the same! Sure, I could have been caught and arrested for fraud... but this way I would have saved a bunch of money, and the homeless guy (in my mind, his name is Stinky Pete) would sell his smokes for meth...
It would have been a win-win.
Except for the prison part... I am way too pretty for jail.
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