Pop Rocks

So, while I am at work, wishing for the time to go by faster… and being thoroughly disappointed afterwards, a co-worker of mine comes to my desk and hands me a treat. She is a real sweetheart, so I take it… and notice a bunch of red and white crystals. I quickly scour my brain to see if they are some sort of drug that I have seen on the television machine, but I did not recall it. She then breaks the silence and says “it’s Cotton Candy Pop Rocks!”

I immediately thought about the urban myth that Mikey from the Life Cereal commercials was killed because the mixture of Pop rocks and Coca-Cola made little Mikey’s tummy go boom. I looked around to see if I had any soda cans on my desk. Good… only a half drank coffee and a water bottle. I am in the clear… for now.

Now, I haven’t had Pop Rocks since I was a wee lil’ tyke. The fizzy feeling on your tongue and down your throat was such a experience when I was a youngin. Well, I am 29 years old now, so Pop Rocks is a veeeeery different experience.

Once I popped the Rocks, they started fizzling and jumping and doing the rumba on my tongue. There was a party in my mouth and everyone was invited (If you had a party in your mouth, and everyone was invited, would you feel really bummed out if no one showed up? Yeah, these are the thoughts that go through my brain)!

Once the initial “HOLY CRAP” phase ends, you just enjoy the insane feeling. But because this is me, nothing happens like it is supposed to. At that moment, a call came in. I have to take the call. But I have to do something about the Pop Rocks, because if I try to talk to someone over the phone with Rocks in my mouth, they will think that there is major static on the line. So, I did what every person instinctively does at a moment like this arises…

I swallowed.

The Pop Rocks immediately starting to bring in da noise and bring in da funk. Have you ever tried to hold any semblance of a conversation while a 4th of July fireworks display is happening in your gut? It’s not easy.

About 2 minutes later, the party died down. The popping subsided, and my mouth and stomach went back to normal. I vowed at that point that I would never try Pop Rocks again.

Well, until I completely forget about this experience in about a month or so, and I hear myself utter, “Sure, I’ll try some Pop Rocks!”